07.25.07
Psychological Help Line
Hello, welcome to the psychological help line.
If you’re obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want; please do not hang up until we trace your call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a feeble voice will tell you which number to press.
Thank you.