posted by Arkham on June 8th, 2009


A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything.”
That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”
The lawyer thought for a moment, but was puzzled. Finally he asked the engineer, “How do you start a flood?”

Tags: ,

Another Insurance Joke

posted by Arkham on April 7th, 2009


I find life insurance jokes incredibly funny, probably because they mostly talk about people and their approach and expectations towards death.

Mary was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the insurance policy with the clerk at the Insurance Agency.

During the discussion, she asked: “Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?

The clerk eyed her suspiciously and replied, “Probably a life sentence.”

Tags: , ,

If you wake up

posted by Arkham on April 6th, 2009


A life insurance agent named Michael was the top seller with his company for the sixth year and was about to retire. His best friend Scott went out with him for their last drink on company time.

Scott said, “Mike old boy, I’ve asked you the same question for the last six years, and you’ve always refused to answer. Now that you’re retiring, why not tell me your secret of how you sell so many life policies.”
“You’re right, Scott, I do have a secret, and I can’t think of a better person to tell it to.”
Rather excited, Scott blurted, “Well, what is it?”

Michael slowly lit his pipe and puffed on it until it was drawing good. He then put his face close to Scott’s and started his tale.
“First, when I’m telling him all the benefits about the policy, and how he should understand that it is his obligation to his family to protect them..”
“Yes, Mike, we all do that,” interjected Scott, “there’s nothing new that you’re telling me!”
“Don’t be so anxious, Scott, let me tell you in my own way.”
“Sorry, Mike..”

Mike’s voice became lower so that Scott had to strain his ears to hear above the bar noise. Then he continued.
“Now, all during my sales pitch I interrupt to ask the client if he feels OK. When he says yes, I look at him kinda funny, but I continue on, stopping every few minutes to either look intently at him or ask him if he would like a glass of water or something.”
“That sounds like an interesting approach,” mutters Scott. “Does it usually end up in a sale?”
“To be honest with you, not very often,” answers Mike. “But the next step works almost every time.”

“For God’s sake, Mike, stop playing with me. What is the next step?”
“Well, next I say ‘Don’t let me frighten you into making a hasty decision. Sleep on it tonight. IF you wake in the morning, give me a call then and let me know.'”

Tags: , ,